I am the Master and this is my shrine.

private to self

notyourslavehummel:

R-Really?

Really. Just call me your fairy god Rachel.

notyourslavehummel

yourmasterblaine

yourmasterblaine:

…Being Alive. Sing that and Carmen would be stupid not admit you right on the spot.

It’s a great song choice, and if Blaine lets me I think i can arrange for you to have a ‘chance’ meeting with her again

[private] Then if we’re not allowed to leave how can I leave with Finn? Kurt, when I was with him in New York we… things were good. Here.. I feel like I’m going to crack and I don’t want him to see me like that. I would rather him hate me than see me like that. I have to keep him at arms length because if I love him and lose him to, I’ll never come back from it. Ever. My head is so messed up, all I want is to be away from here and be in New York… but I don’t want to leave him. It’s confusing

i-am-a-controlist

[private] Yes, but love is always worth the risk, Rachel. The ‘what ifs’ will kill you, and honestly I can tell that Finn likes you. He would probably do whatever it took to make you happy. I’m sure that you could talk to the Island Man about leaving though…

notyourslavehummel:

Well, that makes sense I suppose. It’s better to use it than to just sit there and let it go to waste. Yeah, I nailed the audition and everything, but then Carmen said that I was lacking the ‘soulful depth’ that she was looking for. Which…surprised me because performing was pretty much my entire life. So…I went on that trip instead. Which college was it? New York Academy of Dramatic Arts.

NYADA. I sort of… actually go there. I mean I haven’t since my father’s deaths and Carmen has my place on hold for me until I’m ready to go back. I was doing some of the theory courses over the internet but I couldn’t really do a lot of the theory. I actually screwed up my audition, but I persuaded her to come and see me perform in a competition and I got it. She’s an amazing performer and teacher, but talent isn’t enough for her. She once told me that performers need to use their pain, fears, love, sadness, all of that in their performance, it’s not enough to just sing, you have to live the song. Maybe.. if we all go to New York, I could take you around NYADA. Performing has been my life Kurt, I think it’s why I’m not doing more than surviving here.

yourmasterblaine said: [Private] Alright. And Rach....only ask him to come if YOU want him to come.

[private]

I’ll talk to him when I see him next.

yourmasterblaine said: If he wants to come, dont force him if he doesn't wanna come but let him know he can come if he wants to.

I don’t make Finn do anything he doesn’t want to do. But when I see him next I’ll ask him, once you’ve spoken to Kurt.

notyourslavehummel

yourmasterblaine

yourmasterblaine:

Yeah, maybe it will. I hope so.

I do too.

yourmasterblaine said: [Private] Hey, if i could pull some strings, how do you feel about you and kurt getting to go back stage?

I think it would depend on the show, also.. what if Finn comes too. Or do you think I should leave him behind on the island?

notyourslavehummel

yourmasterblaine

yourmasterblaine:

Sometimes i forget how easy it is to buy your love Rach.

I just want my life back Blaine, and New York is part of that. Maybe this is what I need, maybe showing Kurt and going to the theater, doing normal things will make things better.